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Back to School Blues
Back to School Blues is episode two of season three on Full House. It originally aired on September 29, 1989. Opening Teaser Jesse and Michelle are playing "Hide and (go) seek" in the living room, and while Michelle thinks she has the concept down, in reality, she doesn't. So Jesse has to have a "little talk" with her and explain how the game really works, and explain that she is playing a different game called "Hide and say 'Here I am'". When she tries to be the seeker, it fails, so it is clear that she has a little comprehension and practice to do; especially the fact that as the seeker, she has to cover her eyes all the way. Summary The new school year is starting. However, while they may be in "different worlds" as of today, the two roommates still share the same room, where we see them prepare for their first day of school apart from each other...very far apart. Stephanie, who is entering 2nd grade, is the only Tanner left in her school, and she expects her first day at school to turn out to be a bad day, as she won't have her older sister to stick up for her anymore. But instead, against her expectations, it turns out to be a good day for her (including being chosen as the Room 7 official fish feeder). In fact, she'll be able to recognized more, because when anyone says "Tanner", they'll know they're talking to her. However, as happy as she is about finally "going to a school that doesn't have a sandbox" (i.e. no more recess), and the fact that she's entering her "young woman" years (and wanting to look like one by spraying her hair top to bottom and left to right, even asking her younger sister to help her), the same can't be said for 12-year-old D.J., who is entering 7th grade, which is a step closer to becoming a teenager. On her first day at Van Atta Junior High, D.J. is separated from her best friend Kimmy except for sixth period Spanish, humiliated by a mean girl Colleen and her gang, a squad of girls dressed like tarts, discovers that she is wearing the same outfit as Mrs. Agbabian, the annoying lunch lady, and has to eat lunch in a phone booth, where the voice on the other end was the time lady. The next morning, D.J., along with Kimmy, decides to put on makeup. The reason why is because she believes the only way to fit in among the other students is to do what virtually the other 7th graders are doing when they put on makeup—look twice as old as she really is, and to show that she is indeed a "young woman". While D.J. having eating in a phone booth is bad enough, Kimmy says she gave her lunch to the girl with the tattoo. Stephanie wants to join in on the makeup fun, but D.J. insists that the "child" is "way too young". Michelle also wants to join in, and D.J. lets her put on some makeup, however, all Stephanie can say is, "And I'm too young? How rude!" Before they head off to school, while Danny does approve of the blue dress that Kimmy's wearing, he does not approve of the black dress that D.J.'s wearing. She insists that she wants to look more "junior-high"ish, but he thinks that not only she is overdoing it, she's going too far...way too far. She tells him that he was not at school yesterday and did not see the other girls, but he doesn't care about the other girls, he only cares about her, and says that she's not going to school "dressed like Jessica Rabbit". When Jesse and Joey decide to stay out of the discussion, D.J. scoffs, "Fine. I'll go tie some bows in my hair, put on my Garanimals, and go skipping off to school. I'll be Daddy's little girl forever." With that, she storms off upstairs, leaving the guys shocked and speechless, and in more ways than one. But then they realize that they are not just raising a "young woman", but a "young woman" about to become a teenager, of all things; meaning she will soon be driving a car, going to wild parties, and even dating guys. Upstairs in her room, while D.J. wants Danny to leave her alone, he tells her he can't do that, as he's her dad and it's his job and duty. As the "end-of-episode" inspirational music plays, she mentions the above events, explaining that she was cool in the 6th grade, and as she starts 7th grade, she starts out as a joke. He explains that in grade school she was "a big fish in a small pond", and with her starting junior high, she feels like she's "a small fish in a big pond", but she doesn't have to look like the "big fish", especially when she has to deal with "bad fish" and "smelly fish", as she did yesterday. All she wants is for people to like her, and he assures her they will, as soon as they get to know her. As the music stops, he explains that he can't stop her from growing up and going to 12 to 25 overnight, but she says that Kathy Santoni did. Just as soon as the music stops, Becky comes in, and Danny lets her help D.J. with the makeup, explaining that the secret is to make it look like she's not wearing any makeup, as Becky herself made the same mistakes when she was D.J.'s age. Later that day, Kimmy's schedule changes so that she and D.J. can have the same lunch, especially with D.J.'s new friends from her English class, Karen Sykes and Susan Ericson, who are sitting at Colleen's gang's table. Colleen refuses to sit with scrubs (her name for people like D.J.), saying, "I'd rather eat in a phone booth". So she and her gang split up and go eat at different tables. Meanwhile, Joey tries to teach Jesse how to play golf in order to impress a golfing client. But they're both put to shame when Michelle brings out her Little Tikes miniature golf set and putts a hole-in-one. Quotes the teaser, we find Jesse and Michelle playing "Hide and (go) seek", with Jesse sitting on the couch with his eyes covered. Apparently, he is the "seeker". Jesse: 9, 10...OK, ready or not, here I come! comes out from behind the couch. Michelle: Here I am! Jesse: Michelle, come here. We're gonna have to have a little chat, you and I. See, the name of the game is called "Hide and go seek". You're playing "Hide and say 'Here I am'". Capiche? Michelle: Capiche. Jesse: OK, let's play again. But this time I'll hide, and you come seek me, OK? So you count to three. Cover your eyes! does so, or so she thinks Cover your--No! No peeking! NO PEEKING! Alright, ready? tries to peek, but gets caught Ah, ah, ah! hides behind the couch this time Alright, count! Michelle: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Here I am! pops up from behind the couch, humiliated I win again. Capiche? Jesse: humiliated Capiche. his humiliation turns to joy when he kisses her, jumps over the couch, and tackles her ---- episode opens in D.J. and Stephanie's room, as both girls get ready for their first day of the new school year. As Stephanie finishes filling her backpack, D.J. is looking in the mirror and doing her hair. Stephanie walks up to her, and looks at her watch, preparing for the last few minutes of freedom...well, for quite some time. Stephanie: D.J., if it's not right by now, put on a hat. sits on D.J.'s bed as her sister explains the hairdo. D.J.: Stephanie, today's my first day of junior high school, and I wanna look perfect. turns back to the mirror. Wait...almost...there! Quick! Spray! are two hairspray bottles on the bed, and Stephanie hands her sister one while she helps out with the other. Alright. All over. Keep spraying. Get...every...inch. last, the spraying comes to a stop. Alright...perfect. Stephanie: [She puts her bottle down and taps D.J.'s hair] Very natural. sisters sit down at their little table and make their final preparations before departure. D.J.: Finally, I'm going to a school that doesn't have a sandbox. Stephanie: How can you be so happy? This is the first time we won't be at the same school. Aren't you gonna miss me like crazy? D.J.: Stephanie, try to understand. You are a child. I'm a young adult. And starting today, we live in different worlds. Stephanie: We don't even live in different rooms. D.J.: [cringing at that remark] Please don't remind me. Stephanie: Come on, Deej. Stay at my school. I need my big sister to stick up for me. What if some kid calls me a "lame-oid zombie dog"? D.J.: I dunno, bite 'em. Look, I didn't have a big sister to stick up for me, and I did fine. So will you. Stephanie: But when I get to junior high, you'll be in high school. When I get to high school, you'll be in college. And when I get to college, you'll...be working at McDonald's. ---- D.J.: Where are we? Young and the Restless Junior High? ---- Kathy: D.J., Gibbler, hi. D.J.: Hi. Do we know you? Kathy: Duh! We only went to school together for the past six years? Kathy Santoni. D.J. and Kimmy: Kathy Santoni? Kimmy: You grew up. D.J.: Big time. Kathy: Pretty intense summer. Okay, here's what I found out so far: All the cute guys take metal shop, and everyone makes out after school on the football field. Kimmy: Everyone? Kathy: Well, maybe not everyone. ---- "end-of-episode" inspirational music begins to play. D.J.: Yesterday was the worst day of my life. Everyone looked so much older than me. I was dressed exactly like the teacher that everybody hates. I ate lunch in the phone booth listening to the time lady for 25 minutes and 30 seconds – beep. Danny: I wish you would’ve told me this yesterday. D.J.: I was too embarrassed. I don’t know what happened. In the 6th grade, I was cool. Now I’m a joke. Danny: Oh, I know it feels that way. But that’s because you were a big fish in a small pond. Now you’re in a big pond, so you feel like a small fish. But you don’t have to look like the big fish, especially if the big fish are bad fish, and smelly fish. And, well, now I’m lost, and I’m rambling, and I just want to hug you and take you to Sea World. D.J.: I just want people to like me. Danny: They will, just as soon as they get to know you. to the mirror with D.J. But, look, D.J., this girl isn’t you. D.J.: Then who am I? Danny: Well, I guess to me, you’re still my little girl. Honey, I don’t want to stop you from growing up. But, you just can’t go from 12 to 25 overnight. D.J.: Kathy Santoni did. music stops. ---- Becky: Oh, D.J., don’t ever let your father do your make-up. D.J.: down the tissue Danny was using to wipe the make-up off her face I did it. It looked better before. Becky: You know, when I first started wearing make-up, I made the same mistakes. Danny: Really? How old were you? 18? 19? Becky: No, actually, I was right around D.J.’s age. Danny: Glad I asked. D.J.: Really? You wore make-up when you were my age? Becky: Uh-huh. Only my mom taught me that the secret to wearing make-up is to make it look like you’re not wearing any. D.J.: Well, how do you do that? Danny: Yeah, how do you do that? Becky: Well, by bringing out D.J.’s natural beauty. For instance, you’ll want a very subtle pink eye shadow. Can I show her? D.J.: Can she? Danny: smiles Go for it. D.J.: back Thanks, Dad. And don’t worry. No matter how old I get, you can always think of me as your little girl. Give me a hug, Dad. Danny: Oh, I love those words. D.J. And I love you. Trivia *This is the first appearance of D.J.'s friend, Kathy Santoni, but the only appearances of Colleen, Mrs. Agbabian, Karen Sykes, and Susan Ericson. *Mrs. Agbabian is played by , who also played a teacher (Miss Wilder) on Little House on the Prairie (in 1979–1981). *D.J.'s " Junior High" remark is a reference to the long-running CBS Daytime program that debuted in 1973. *The dress Stephanie wears to school in this episode is the same one from the opening credits, where she comes out the door holding her lunchbox in her right hand and giving a "thumbs up" with her left. *Stephanie's "different worlds" remark would be repeated in "Take My Sister, Please" (season five) by D.J., regarding the "room switch"; specifically, her being in high school by that time ("Land of Maturity") meant she deserved her own room, while Stephanie and Michelle being in elementary school/grade school ("Tiny Town") deserve to share a room. *D.J.'s "Garanimals" scoffing is a reference to a brand of kids' clothing. Category:Episodes Category:Season 3